To help navigate some difficult conversations, we are sharing some helpful resources for you and your family.

Key points to consider

1. Limit your student’s exposure to media coverage of the event

2. Try not to transfer your anxieties to your student

3. Always keep in mind your student’s developmental level and capacity for understanding

4. Provide reassurance about safety and security

5. Give honest, factual answers to questions

6. Answer only the question you are asked; do not elaborate

7. Allow your student to verbally or actively process the event

   1. Drawing pictures, writing

   2. Opportunities to ask questions, give respectful and honest answers

8. Allow your student to express feelings

9. Your student may need to repeat certain things or ask the same questions over and over

10.  As adults, we have feelings as well.  Modeling that capacity is healthy.

11. Provide lots of reassurance and validation of what your student is feeling

12. Support your student’s thoughts and respond to concerns, however, maintain expectations for appropriate behavior

13. Continue to offer structure, provide a stable environment and predictable schedule

From the National Association of School Psychologists

• How to Talk to Children About War
• Talking to Children About Violence: Tips for Families and Educators
•  How to Talk About the Israel-Hamas War: Resources for Educators (Education Week)
•  Talking to Children About War (National Child Traumatic Stress Network)
•  Helping Students in Troubling Times (American School Counselor Association)
•  Responsible Media Coverage of Crisis Events Impacting Children and Youth (National Association of School Psychologists)

• Handle with Care: Supporting Young People During Crises (Learning for Justice)

For All Ages

• How to Talk to Kids About What's Happening in Israel Right Now: This article from Kveller shares balanced scripts parents and family members can use with their children based on their age range. 
• How to Talk to Kids About Violence, Crime, and War: Common Sense Media gathers tips and conversation starters to help you talk to kids of different ages about the toughest topics.
• Talking to Your Kids About War: VeryWell Family explores ways families can speak with young people about war, including tips on sharing information and restricting media coverage.
• How to Talk to Your Children About Conflict and War: UNICEF’s guide offers eight tips to support and comfort your children.
• Handle with Care: Supporting Young People During Crises: Learning for Justice offers recommendations and resources to help guide conversations with young people and to manage potential subsequent actions and reactions.

For Elementary School Students

Resilience in a time of war: Tips for parents and teachers of elementary school children: This article from the American Psychological Association can help adults guide their young children beyond fear and to resilience. 

For Middle School Students

Resilience in a time of war: Tips for parents and teachers of middle school children: The American Psychological Association provides tips and strategies for parents and teachers of middle school-aged children.

Other Resources for Parents and Caregivers

• Age-by-Age Guide to Getting Your Child to Talk
• Anxiety and Depression in Children
•  National Association of School Psychologists Resources
• Anxiety and Children
•  Anxiety - Pediatric Mental Health Minute Series
•  Pediatric Generalized Anxiety
•  Helping Kids with Anxiety
•  Bergen County Mental Health Resources Guide
•  NJ Dept. of Human Services - Division of Mental Health
•  Mental Health Resources - List

National Child Traumatic Stress Network Resources 

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network has developed resources to help children, families, educators, and communities navigate what they are seeing and hearing, acknowledge their feelings, and find ways to cope together. These resources include:

• Talking to Children about the Shooting

• Helping Youth After a Community Trauma: Tips for Educators (En Español)

• Talking to Children: When Scary Things Happen  (En Español)

• Talking to Teens about Violence (En Español)

• Tips for Talking to Students about Violence

·         Coping After Mass Violence: For Adults

·         For Teens: Coping After Mass Violence(En Español)

• Helping School-Age Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers (En Español)

• Helping Teens with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers(En Español)

• Helping Young Children with Traumatic Grief: Tips for Caregivers (En Español)

• Guiding Adults in Talking to Children about Death and Attending Services

• After a Crisis: Helping Young Children Heal

• Age-Related Reactions to a Traumatic Event

• Once I Was Very Very Scared – children’s book for young children 

• After the Injury—website for families with injured children

• Health Care Toolbox—website for pediatric health providers working with injured children

• Pause-Reset-Nourish (PRN) to Promote Wellbeing (En Español) (for responders)

Psychological First Aid

The NCTSN also has resources for responders on Psychological First Aid (PFA; En Español). PFA is an early intervention to support children, adolescents, adults, and families impacted by these types of events. PFA Mobile and the PFA Wallet Card (En Español) provide a quick reminder of the core actions. The PFA online training course is also available at the NCTSN Learning Center.

 Additional PFA resources for schools include:

• Psychological First Aid for Schools (PFA-S) – Field operations guide

• Providing PFA-S: For Health-Related Professionals 

• Providing PFA-S: For Principals and Administrators

• Providing PFA-S: For School Support Staff

• Providing PFA-S: For Teachers 

·  Transcend (mobile app to assist with recovery after mass violence)

·  Rebuild your Community: Resources for Community Leaders

·  Media Guidelines for Homicide Family Survivors

·  Timeline of Activities to Promote Mental Health Recovery

·  Self-Help: Resources for Survivors

·  E-learning Courses: Trainings for Clinicians

·  Resources for Victim Assistance Professionals